Today at work someone reached into my soul and told everyone how I was feeling

I had the weirdest, scariest yet beautifulest moment at work today.

I was having lunch and someone was asking about the 7 day vegan challenge I am doing. Since I was so unprepared for my 7 days this morning I panic bought avocado, wraps and some sort of Brazilian bulgar wheat on my way to work. The point being my lunch looked a mess and this person jokingly suggested that I was giving up meat to deny myself of all joys in life (this is following giving up alcohol 18 months ago) and he continued in a mock disatribe “and this is why you hate your life, your wife, why you’re ready to give it all up and walk out of this job you hate”.

Of course I don’t hate my life, or my wife, but when he said that last sentence I froze. It’s like he read my mind, reached into my soul and proclaimed what I have been so far too scared to proclaim offline. I looked at him and tried to work out how he knew this about me. 4 or 5 people had stopped eating to watch and I thought for a split second that I was going to blurt it all out that yes I was sick of this place, I hated the stupid work, I hated the stupid people and I was ready to cart wheel out of its stupid gates. 

In that moment I felt relief, like I didn’t have to pretend any more. Like my game was finally up. I caught my tounge however and, and as you’d expect from a socially anxious introvert, mumble something and look down at my food.

I still feel weird about it. It felt too close to the bone, too much of a coincidence. It wasn’t just what he said, his tone though joking was attempting to imitate a man on the edge, a man ready to throw his monitor out the window and go HAM.

The chances of me ever actually doing that are slim. Too anxious. Too introverted. But if I do I promise I’ll get the footage!

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4 thoughts on “Today at work someone reached into my soul and told everyone how I was feeling”

    1. For a second it felt like it. Do you know when you have a moment of realisation with someone and your eyes meet like “yes! That’s it!”?, that happened for a second. It was very weird, must be the vibes I’m putting out there.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Sometimes people are mirrors to show us what we’ve ignored or denied about ourselves and our feelings. And there are also people who don’t know anything about anything and misjudge you and your character, etc. The key is determining who’s full of shit and thinks they have you figured out and people who’s statements like the coworker you spoke of are serving as a mirror so you take action. But that’s key, it’s all about how perceptive you are. Take people’s advice with a grain of salt but also see if it speaks to you on a personal level and makes you more aware. Perception is key 😉

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    1. Thanks for the comments. He definitely mirrored exactly what I was thinking / feeling. It did speak to me on a personal level I think it just made me more aware of my own thoughts

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