I have been planning my escaping from the matrix since the new year and as the date gets nearer (22nd September 2017) I find myself getting both impatient and scared.
On the one hand I am close to just doing it, now, ahead of schedule and before I’m ready. But now that I’m at that stage I am even more nervous about doing it.
The big question whirling around my head is; “am I fucking mental?”.
As an introvert, my inner circle is tight, so I have only discussed my plans with 2 people. One is my partner. She’s supportive “as long as I’m happy”. The other person (my sister) while supportive has been playing devils advocate echoing the question; “am I fucking mental!?”.
Mental I may be but I feel like I am seeing the world more clearly than ever now. I believe it is both a gift and a curse to see the world for what it is… to see the futility in spending 40 years in a miserable job so that you can spend a few years doing what you want at the end.
Call me (fucking) mental, but I think that is fucking mental.
As I separate myself from the herd and begin walking my own path I expect more and more people to cock their head, look down their nose and think; “are you fucking mental!?”. But sure enough they’ll turn back to their screen and continue tapping away for another 40 years.
The question isn’t “am I (fucking) mental?”, I clearly am (fucking mental). The question is: what scares me more, being mental and miserable or mental and free?