If you were completely free to do whatever you wanted tomorrow, what would you do?
Me? I’m a highly sensitive introvert, I’d wake up naturally, have a cup of the finest coffee, go for a stroll in the woods then read for the afternoon. It might not sound like it, but that is a huge dream. That dream is FREEDOM.
Freedom to spend my time on my little projects, freedom to travel, freedom to write, freedom to read, freedom to take photos, freedom to make music, freedom to build my own robot. Freedom to do what the hell I want to do with my life.
But society has other plans for me. Ever since a mechanical squid plucked me from my cocoon and unplugged me I’ve been on a conveyor belt towards Jobsville.
First it was my parents, they’d ask “what do you want to be when you grow up” like I’d a) have to pick one thing and b) be defined by it. “What do you want to be?”. Sounds fucking stupid when you think about it. Like you weren’t already you, like you’re in beta awaiting production.
Then, as if by some miracle school steps in to mould you into a well rounded humanbot who follows the rules and passes tests so your parents and potential employers can see just how much you can slavishly produce when it is asked of you. Maybe your family even gave you cash depending on each grade. Well done, gold star for you.
From school, you can either get a job humping shit around a building site or you can go to university with the prospect of higher wages. Better jobs come at a cost though, they’ll cost you 3 or 4 years of your life and about £30k in student loans. Now they’ve really got you, now you’re trapped. Now you absolutely have to get a job to pay the debt otherwise kiss goodbye to your credit rating and any feint hope of ever getting on the property ladder. Plus your parents are your guarantors. Wouldn’t want your dad to have his new car repossessed would you? After all he’s just punched in 40 years to get that. No, they’ve got you hook, line and sinker.
Most people will blindly endure this system and never question it. They’ll scrape by paying bills and getting shitfaced at the weekend in order to numb themselves to the reality of this thing. This “life”.
If you’re reading this then there is a good chance that like me you’re a highly sensitive introvert. Burnt out from the daily grind that other people seem to endure so well. You joke about jacking it all in but others look at you like you’re mad. Why on earth would you ever give up a perfectly good job? The worst are those who say “thank yourself lucky you have a job”. They really want you at your desk. It’s what people do.
If you’re coming home every night after 8 hours so burnt out that all you want to do is sit in a dark silent room desperately recharging then I’ll ask you, is that what you think people do?
You’re not like them, you’re brain is wired differently. You’re just burnt out trying to fit into an open plan world. It is a world designed by extroverts, no wonder you are struggling. Being you is raw, it’s painful and sometimes it would be easier to be part of the living dead, mortgaging their time in the hope they’ll enjoy some freedom at the end of their lives. But how could you possibly endure that fate knowing what you know?
I know I can’t. And that’s why I’m plotting my way out of my 9-5 into a life designed by me, for me.